Thursday, December 30, 2010

Disgusted not by the fact but by what you have choosen to believe instead.
Disgusted not by what you want to believe but how you have choosen to put your words across.
Disgusted by how you nv fails to rant up the past whenever you start your nonsensical screams.
Even more disgusted of myself for not learning my lessons and nv stop asking you for any help.

if this is what you want, you'll get it.
i'm sure i can get it over and done with.
for you dont see my effort, and i shant explain myself.

isnt it also a false front wanting to pick me when i always make my way home on my own whenever i return?
i seriously dont need it but was i given a choice?
to think i believe it was from the heart.

|| BELIEVE ||
|| BE ||LIE|| VE ||
i actually went to read my entries po in 2009 while waiting for @crissyeo to wake up from his sleep.
came across my last po in year 2009, dec 28 and this is what was written:

***
in 2010 (internally);

i want to be more responsible for my actions;
i want to be nicer;
i want to be who i really am;
and i want to be heard.

in 2010 (externally);
i want to learn to listen to his problems more;
i want to hang out with the girls more;
i want to chill with paperfishy more;
i want to read more;
i want to travel more;
i want to complete my degree with a bang;
i want to start planning for our future;
and i want to accept him better.

money can buy me anything but it cant buy me happiness from within.
women from Venus loves to talk to share; and i talk to seek peace.

in 2010; i really want to be a nicer person than what i am this year.
i want to njoy life better cos i will only be 24 once!

***

comparing it with what i po yesterday for 2010!

i'm POM for doing better than what i've set to achieve.

[for me to know, for you to find out!]

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

2 more days before we officially countdown to another GREAT year ahead! Was trying to do a review of my 2010 dramatic life (as usual) but realise that i cant really do so cos i've jumble all my tots between what happened in year 2009 - year 2010. Apparently, I have images of FM / Melody / Angela bday celebration at Zhou Zhuang, Qi's Convo and even Lynn ROM in me which I lump it into year 2010.
How mess up can I get?!

Anyway, here's how 2010 has been for me.
p.s. It's like myself being torn apart between the.hardworking vs. the.party

Major.Events:
Jan - birthday countdown @ Furama
Feb - Laopo's celebration @ Barrage
       - CNY & Valentine falling on the same day.
       - went house visiting @ Qi & Angela's place. Lou Hei @ Angela' 
Mar - FM / Angela' celebration @ Crab rest.
Apr - SHE' concert  
May - Went over to China, Nanning, Neimeng, Baotou over 5 days. Changed 3 hotels.
        - Studied for my exam.
        - Xiaozhu' concert
Jun   - SK' wedding 
Jul    - Went over to Indonesia, Tangerrang for a villagy lifestyle as well as a superb short work trip.
        - Head to KL / Genting as well.
Aug  - One month work from home.
Sep  - Partified with HH Club.
Oct  - Graduation on 7 Oct!
        - Visited Safari Halloween for the first time.
        - Did my first 10K!
Nov - BB died on me.
       - Dinner with BCF!!!! 
       - Cheryl darling finally settled down for good!
Dec - My 世界唯一, Carol Chow was engaged to Jason Liang.
       - Went on a superb long holiday to HKG for work & leisure with the cousins!
       - And that I met you!    

just by listing the above, it seems to be an eventful year heh. And a year full of ups & downs.

Ended my 2.5 yrs of studies and had my best Unisim life only at the last sem. (too lazy to link up) but i did po an entry on that. LOL

Ended also, a 2.5yrs r/s which i nv tot i would. And i honestly like the phase from LPM '一山还比一山高'
I am so wrong and blinded and believe what i tot shld be the case. Even believe is spelt with 'LIE' if you notice. Nonetheless, this is still the best decision i have ever make.
To know the true you and the real me. And for that, I'm grateful for the courage and heartless i possess within me. Lesson learnt. A disgusted truth. 

The aftermath of a dramatic series, not measuring at all any losses... I have BCF, LPM, @paperfishy & @joelim and everyone else to count on. I also get to know a 'friend' better and I can never understand how i can manage to have different type of friendship with every single person who crossed my life & them who i deem deserve my friendship. Very individualist and that's the reason why every single one of you is special in my heart.

Of cos, the best ought be being introduced to HH Club by BCF! which totally bring me to who i am now. Only then i realise i haven been me for quite a while. =)
It doesnt matter to me anymore if i save / spend how much so long as i'm happy doing what i want to do.
HH Club was different from the vball gang years ago though there's some similarities of being big group and that everyone is from different backgrd but come together for a sole purpose. Simply loves everyone there to bits cos we r party animals!!

Needless to say, LPM is still going strong. We have fen back with us. I meet laopo after work to travel back together. Even have regular running session. There's no need to mention how proud I am of her now that she can do 10 rounds! and at times, more motivated and determine than me! Cheesecake cafe is a bonus for elvin' split second and i will want to go there anytime!

And to @paperfishy, though she will nv read it! I wish for you to be happy, to be burden-free and to be blessed & loved for who you are for the rest of your life! My darling precious always!!

And 2010 was also a year where my closest gfs settled down. 2 of them somemore. mad loves weddings and it's wonderful seeing them settling down!

Finally, to @crissyeo! even though it has been barely a month and that 50% of the time i was away... thanks for your assurance and giving in to me. thanks for being ever straight-forward! with no image in mind! and for being able to read me. I know now may not be the best & fairest period i can give you at this point, but i'm grateful and appreciate your understanding. <3 I'll remember your 'message in a bottle!'
Looking forward to what 2011 will be for us! loves

and below are the screen shot of my FB status throughout 2010!
personal fav are highlighted! Wheee!!!

Till then!
Have a great party on 31st Dec peeps!!!
The coming year shall be a better one for all!

xoxo
HY





















Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Citysq's Fish Manhattan
Hougang Mall
Punggol Park
--
PS's Ajisen
Orchard Central
313 Somerset
--
161, 83
--
Ion's BKT
Taka
Paragon
Heeren
Centerpoint
OG Orchard
PS
--

Totally blown away!


Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Monday, November 15, 2010

一個人的自己也許會覺得很寂寞,很累,需要有個依靠。
兩個人的我們也不見得是件好事。有可能需要面對的比一個人來得多,來的煩,來的累。
想想,還是一個人來得好些。

疼也能疼自己多一些,愛也愛自己多一些。
即使是要把關心分給別人,也不許要向任何人交待。
我想,我真的怕了。

好喜歡現在的我,雖然,覺得有人提醒些什麽也不錯。
還是朝著我要的未來前進吧!

加油咯!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

i'm still not over the fact that the past months have been a crazily busy one that i can feel the tireness in my body (building up).  yet, i very much enjoy heading out still.

been disappointed twice for the week.
i tot there's supposed to be meet up and it turns up, they didnt remember.
and i didnt receive any texts from them.
what's this supposed to mean?
screw you for blocking my date.
dont xpect me to clarify or cfm any meetings cos u're not worth it.
not even when a sms is free.

there's only 7 days a week. and if you dont know how impt after office hour is for me, it's bloody impt.
if you wanna wait till u're free to meet me, then u wait till i'm free to meet you. ssss.

anyway, life's been good.
even if work sucks like hell, i still pretty njoy doing it simply cos i feel good finishing my job.
and i have lesser whinning now since i hardly go for classes anymore.
probably avoiding the peeps for a while.
afterall, it's approaching year end and things suppose to tie down.

not like i have a lot of leave to clear, but i'm clearing it already cos i'll be outta office abt 2 weeks in dec.
i cant wait for the year to end and for a better start to 2011.
this yr gonna be one of the 'worst plan' year with no plans in mind for 31st and 1st.
but whatever, i know things will fall into place eventually.

drama.mama sat. i love having ME time.
time where i can ponder on my tots.
*what.makes.me.smiles*

till then...
i couldnt be feeling any better since...

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

credits to lunch kk.

AJ:"当我想起你..." says:


capricorns are down-to-earth

Tradition is important to you

You do not always like short-term relationships because it seems such a waste to spend several months of time, money and effort on something that won't last

Cars are important to a Capricorn...

*** for me to know. for you to find out. ***

Sunday, October 31, 2010

have been doing my regular running to make sure i can complete the race, and hopefully under 1hr.
clock a final training of 5K (damn lousily) on thurs becos i've been so tired over work the entire week and also did a 8K earlier on tues.

As prep, i stop drinking for 2 weeks becos alcohol just doesnt sound healthy to me. LOL
Also make sure i'm supposed to have enough sleep the nite before.
Hence, rejected a trip to cheesecake cafe on sat.
p.s. cheesecake cafe is seriously the new dessert cafe to go to. *grinz*

But then, either i was too xcited or the body clock was spolit.
i just couldnt get a good nite sleep. mad sad.
cos i know clearly without enough rest, i wont have the mental stength to complete the race within my target.
afterall, my running style has always been on being 'focus' and relying on my mental strength.
Long dist running to me, is really all in the mind.

The first 2.5K to the waterpoint is bearable. Since my min has always been a 4 to 5K.
I guess timing was lost due to cutting lanes and runners blocking the route with their 'jog'.
I've lost count on how many side-centers i cut, how many curbs i've cut and how many 'tsk' i made.
The fun is also there seeing Cherie & waving at her upon our first U-Turn. Like.. u managed to spot someone u know amongst so many of us!! Moral support (mentally - again).

Then the torture came after the 5K. p.s. and the waterpoint is beyond the 5K mark lor.
and the irritating mental/inner conversation started.
Josh's tweet keeps repeating in my mind. Why would people pay to run and wake up so early!
Seriously.. i keep asking why am i doing this.
And the devils keep prompting me to stop and can walk.
but like huh?! 5K and walk? Very far to walk another 5K lor.
And no way shall i give in when i know i need to do it within like an hour?
or complete the race without walking.
So i pushed and pushed. cursed & sweared so hard throughout to the 3rd waterpoint.
However, I must say the route isnt that far as it seems bet 2nd waterpoint & 3rd waterpoint.

Taking a final cup.. I need to make it back but my timing was bad lah.
Already 50mins then. Considering my 1K took 7mins, at most i'll reach the finishing line 1:04hrs.
Damn sad lah! But what to do.. just got to keep running.
At 9K, my mind was so tired that all i could think of is going back for the bananas.
And my energy was so drained i cant even dash at the last 200 / 100M.
Very weak, And all i told myself was.. 'its only a matter of diff in the sec... forget it'.
And tons of people just zoom-ed past me. KNS!

Immediately caught sight of Cherie and she's damn nice to offer to get me drinks and asking me to stay put.
But i seriously cant. cos i need to pee.
and the urge came when i stop running lor. not throughout the race.
so i cant wait for her there and went to the mobile toilet instead.
when i'm out, she's nowhere in sight lor.
super chuiz. i spent the next 20mins looking for her.
and trust me, everyone looks like her or she looks alike to most of them.
i waved to alot of 'unknown' people.
walked hell lots to see if they are her.
walked ard the ending point, taxi stand, fields and finally decided to head back to where we're supposed to meet.
stuipid or what?! i shld have gone back earlier rite.. but cannot leh..
cos she asked me stay put so i went back there to wait for her. LOL

ok lah! overall, it was a really good race for me though i didnt make it under an hr.
i tot i still did quite well with this timing of mine.
cos i'm expecting myself at 1.04hrs to 1.08hrs.
so, rightfully, based on the pace today, i did better than what my legs and body coordinated.
talking abt pace.. i cant find any pacer lor. zzz

anyway.. i'll still be doing my regular run though the race is over.
so dont ask me what i'm doing at bukit batok when i said i'm there on weekday after work.
till then!vYes, the 'born in the 1980s' cousins are a superb bunch. amazingly beautiful!!!





Monday, October 25, 2010

partified so hard over the past weekends that i was close to voiceless for 3 consecutive mondays.
totally awesome gang of HH Club who simply loves nothing but to club.
i mean, we do love k-ing, and other healthy activities.
but no doubt, clubbing is top priority.






























i was also glad f&c finally have some quality time spent. though we just went to cheng ling's concert the week before. visitng BP was yet another successful conquer by the ladies, considering the amount of perspires and walking we had gone through. we r still very us by clocking close to 200 photos in just one outing! hahaha!
looking forward to more quality time w you!!





























above is how shag i was by end of the day.

that aside, i also met up with the 2 darlings. no photos. cos we r more emotional whenever we meet.
it's amazing how i always love hanging out with them for pure comfort.
we really need not say much to be there.
i hope she'll be happy and just go xplore the world.
i hope she'll njoy her marriage.

finally... i'm training rather hard in my running.
not just for GE but for overall.
I did 20rds today! So duhz POM!!!
1km-5.27, 5 complete rounds: 10.30, 5km-30.32, 20complete rds-52.21! Hahahah
let's see how i'll fare this coming thursday!!

xoxo

Friday, October 22, 2010

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Friday, October 8, 2010

喜悅,快樂,是開心的。一切都值得!

it took me 2.5years to complete my degree.
PT degree to be exact.
the emphasize on PT because it is really not easy.

I am supposed to do it within 2 years. that's my plan.
But becos i didnt count my AUs properly, I need to do another half year more.
I remembered how upset i was then.
another half a year more means another half a year of suffering.
suffering becos doing PT and FT is really different.

can you imagine rushing to class after work?
can you imagine buring your nights and weekends on assignments?
can you imagine doing assignments in the office while your colleagues are out for lunch?
can you imagine studying for exams when there's still work waiting for you?
doing PT is just different with all these sacrifices.

friends around me over the 2.5yrs wondered how did i even do it.
i did not exactly spent my weekends on assignments.
weekends were spent with james.
playing volleyball. chilling. having dinner.
weekdays were also spent with james.
having dinner. watching tvieewws.

to be frank, i seriously have no ideas how I've come this far.
i make it seems so easy that my colleague is in Unisim now but finds it so tough with the numerous TMAs and ECAs. Not forgetting the quizzes that come at the start of every 2 lessons per course.

self-discipline? time management?
perhaps. these are the only 2 things i know has pushed me these far.
not forgetting that i always aim for an A, not just a pass.
I wouldn't say i did well.
But compared to many others, I'm supposed i did.

It's hard to xplain to people my rationale.
I'm a super duper PON-TAN queen for classes.
The habit has been with me since poly days.
I guess you just need to understand yourself before making any decision?
I nv once felt guilty for not attending class.
cos all the classes i missed, i know i can afford to.
why waste 5hrs or maybe even more for me going to class when you know you can study on your own?
like seriously?
instead, i spend the 5hrs working on my assignment in replacement of school day!
and viola! that's how i find time to pator over the weekends.
it was a sacrifice.
again, i wonder if he knows.

i always plan it so nicely that i nv miss any of our dates and i nv request for not meeting him unless i really have to.
i do worked throughout the night.
but i njoy sleeping, hence, i dont really work till like 3am.
i'm just confident of my work.

i did not graduate with a high 4.5 GPA.
but it's still slightly over 4.
and i believe, this is good enough for me.
and i'm uber proud of it.

getting a degree is definitely not an option in my education.
if i want a degree to begin with, i would have applied for it after my NP days.
i plan for a 'diploma' route for my life.
getting a degree is definitely way beyond my limits.
if not becos i'm with NIE, i wouldnt have sign up.
not that NIE needs it lah. but i need a career advancement.
without a degree, i cant really move up the ladder.
and the job at NIE wasnt my plan initially also.
so, well... somehow, things just fall into place.

i know my parent was delighted with my decision.
finally like after 3yrs since i graduated from NP, i told them i'm applying to get my degree.
they didnt say much.
xcept this from my dad:
'好咯,去讀,多少錢,跟爸爸講。你自己有心讀,想讀什麽,都是為你自己好。'
that's xactly what he told me.
wah lau, sibei 心酸 can.
anyway, that's all he said lah.
and i did everything on my own after that.
application, registering, going for interview, being enrolled into the schools.
i go for my classes. i do my work.
every semester, they paid the fees and i produced my result slip.
i know almost all PTimers paid their own school fees.
Only i asked my parent to pay for me.
Only i am the one asking them for school fees every sem lah!
But i'm not rich lor. I dont earn much also.
that's beside the point.
what i want to say is, that's the rs over the 2.5yrs.

every sem.. i make sure i did well as a form of repayment.
I gave them all As in my first result slip leh.
5 courses. And subsequently, the results maintained till i get a B after 3 sems and my mom asked..
'this time got B!!! nv work hard enuff izzit!'
see... even they think my As can 隨隨便便就有one leh!'
apparently, that's what james tot too.
which got me really pissed.
if it's so easy, how come my peers are not getting it?
not only did they not get it, some did not even pass can!
so what give them the impression A can be scored easily.

remembered the times i quarrelled with james cos getting As become a norm and hence, there's no encouragement and appreciation from him.
the no. of sacrifices made to get that As.
the double effort to finish every assignments wayyy before deadline.
he hardly shares my joy when i received my results.
and so, it becomes just me alone waiting in anticipation every sem for the release of my grades.

finally making it through to the last sem for strategy class.
a damn killer paper for everyone in business school.
surprisingly, it turns out very different for me.
i didnt score well for this course but the 3 weekends burnt for the class is definitely worth it.
i didnt know i can speak my way in front of a class.
neither do i know, this is the class i njoyed the most over for my whole unisim studies.
probably, it's really the 1pm-7pm and 9am -6pm in consecutive sat & sun that bond us so well.
everyone becomes everyone's friends.
and so, it's probably a good choice that i miscalculated my AUs right from the start.
i'm not as upset since cos i get to be in the same cohort as my yr 1 mates who needed 3 yrs to complete their programme.

taking up degree, becomes a matching staus quo with you.
your mum asked me when we first met, 'if i'm doing my degree.'
i cannot imagine if my answer was a NO at that time.
will i be look down upon then?
at that instance, i'm so glad i'm being accepted into the University and that i said i'm doing my PT degree.
Do you exactly know how i feel?
the degree was meant for my career advancement.
but later, it changes to match your status.
I seriously worked hard over the 2.5yrs maintaining and doing the best i can.
Not failing anyone's expectations.
Not my parents, not myself and most importantly, not you.
I dont recall using studies as an excuse to not meeting you.
the only times i get really mad, was when exams are round the corners and i needed time to mug.

3 months ago, i remembered telling you, sharing with you, how i wanted my convo to be.
you to be there. you to share my joy.
parhaps, convo to you is nothing.
i dont see your excitement when i told you.
but still, i continue to say what i want and how i see the convo to be.

yessterday was the day.
the day i waited for, a year ago.
for a split second, i do hope you sense my joy.

it was a really good day.
i had so much fun.
a day that i have, like how i felt on my 21st birthday.
being myself. doing and requesting for things that i declare is my day.
even MJ at nite was good for me.
what more shld i ask for?


too xcited to sleep weel the nite before. pufft eyes. still.. loves the eyes!















the strong support behind my every decisions.



my 2 sweethearts that i've no complaints abt.


finally, i've graduated! POM!

looking great!

Unisim Convo 2010!

<3! <3! <3!

畢業咯!