倪安東 Anthony - 紳士

I know things can nv be the same again.
maybe it will. but i dunno how long it'll takes for me to convince myself.

once again, i'm back to a point i start questioning and asking where all these are leading to.
i'm tired. not tired of knowing / giving / loving.
but tired of how this brain of mine works and how it nv fails to remind me constantly about stuffs that i know shld be left behind.

Forwards ever, backwards never.
Greg “Mr Gee” Sekweyama. (Source: Hayden Layton)


you know how irritating it is to be feeling joy at a time and all of a sudden, thoughts flash passed and a tinge of pain crunches your heart and you felt so helpless?
What follow next are heartache and a complete mess of tots which just make you feel like hating urself for all these?!

somehow, i feel so screwed up.

People always say that, when you love someone, nothing in the world matters. But that’s not true, is it? You know, and I know, that when you love someone, everything in the world matters a little bit more.

Jodi Picoult, Handle With Care

我從來都沒有後悔過什麼。一直都覺得我的決定和選擇是對的。決定放棄，選擇離開。但，當我認定了未來，我發現決定，選擇和發生，做過，它們是一致的。

即使沒後悔，但放下也不等於忘記。沒忘記並不代表留念。所謂沒忘記，倒不如說，那是因為你，讓我不能忘。
因為是你，我希望我可以對你公平些。
我希望可以忘。

煩腦接者來。
我沒有更沒權利要求什麼！



Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

I used to feel that dining alone is for people who are: 1) emo, 2) loner or 3) actor and have always not dine alone in the past.

Someone used to tell me tat it's e trait of a Capricorn cos he has a Capricorn girl friend who doesn't like e idea of dining alone. I can't rem if I buy that idea at that time but I do know I rather buy back than eat alone outside.

It wasn't till recently tat I realise it has nothing to do with being a Capricorn but rather what I think. Apparently, I njoyed dining alone now, and have no complaints or whatsoever if I have to.

Being alone gives me time to reflect and think of what I want in life. Not emo, not a loner and definitely not acting, eating by myself gives me the comfort I don't used to get if eating with friends.
Having ur fav meals became a plus point cos it makes e stress n worries n unhappiness disappear on their own.

I guess I started this appreciation when I took up my degree. The numerous study period out of home and doing it alone taught me so much. I see a part of myself growing up and out of these learning journey.

Rather than saying we are sad souls on our own, I suppose we are independent individuals ever ready to embrace on whatever tat's ahead of us.

#me.time.is.great.for.reflections.
But
#i.do.miss.e.bf.

Happy CNY!
It's e last day on e lunar calendar!

xoxo
HY



Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

Been a while since the last proper po. Nothing exciting throughout the month, xcept that my pretty nails are still intact, and i'm hoping it will last me till CNY. Lots of compliments, and ppls asking how i can work and of cos, how much it cost.

Totally not an issue when it comes to work and i'm definitely not those you-xiu girl you know. I'm still pretty much carrying & moving stuffs round the coy.. so yep! just need to get used to it. But it's undeniable that there's certain inconvenience when it comes to daily life. For me, it ought to be opening of can drink. there's no way i can drink without the help of @crissyeo or my colleagues.

But i'm getting better working with these nails. Just last nite, i actually MJ-ed with @joelim, @diva and @yvonne which i totally cant 2 weeks ago. Talking abt MJ... it was so bad for my second round last nite i almost puked looking at my tiles. Totally maddening and for those who knows my habit.. getting pissed is a definite NO-NO to MJ for me.. but it was so bad... i totally gave up after the whole game. 氣死人! To think i managed to 自摸大三元, game with 清一色 and 平湖 o my first game and can lost after 2 games. Dunno to be happy or not.

Anyway, talking abt MJ, we (grace, CH, criss & myself) used to play together. But i doubt this combi gonna play for long cos it's weird playing among 2 couples. Damn! no more fri MJ khakis! boohooo!

Also, it's CNY coming Thurs. CNY eve on Wed gonna be yet another blast i guess, with the cousins gathering round the tables, gossiping, being lame and eating together. This yr's CNY seems to come a little fast. Cant believe that i have not get myself new shoes yet. Tml shall be a busy day shopping. Let's hope i can get my lazy body outta house. And i've cleaned my room so many times, i'm giving up cleaning. There's just too many clothes. And i dont exactly like the fact of the maternal relatives visiting us always on Day 2 when we will actually be meeting them again on Day 3. It sucks having to entertain relatives you met only once in a year. *reads: fake*

Valentine will also be round the corner after CNY. Again, another busy Feb. Cos i'll be flying off to China the following week. By the time i'm back, it'll be end Feb, approaching Mar. Tsk!! All these [in-advanced] schedule nv fails to amaze me. I'm so glad 2011 seems so much like a travelling year for me. Woohooo!

And the next thing i really wanna start doing is to be back on the track. I've seriously procrastinate long enough with all the festivals and dinning with @crissyeo. Where's the 2 times running a week session HY?! Please start exercising after CNY!! *chants*it.feels.really.good.running.on.the.track.*stress-free*

Loving the view of my nike-free from this angle!! Chio max! 



Generally, that's how life has been. Not whining abt work anymore. I'm getting tired of it. I'll just move a step at a time. ETS's office has an opening and I'll most probably send in my application tml. I cant stand how my current coy is anymore with all the politics and what's not. I do know politics are everywhere but it's also abt time i move on unless.. unless... the next PB payout is good? We shall see. As for F&C, i dont think i've hang out with them over the past weekends. Jan just seems to fly pass leh. Need to start asking them out for dinners! Cheesecake cafe!!! *grinz*

Oh.. and the whole of today was spent recovering the lack of sleep over the week which xplains why I'm still up at this hour. The bf is working nite shift and hopefully i will be up long enough to chat with him later when he's out for supper. loves

It's nice spending the day with you like today. Though we merely had a meal together, watch 30mins of show together and the rest of the time with you doing your stuff and me in lala land. I tot it was simple enough as a weekend and life couldnt be any better for me now.

" I believe the nicest and sweetest days are not those on which anything very splendid or wonderful or exciting happens, but just those that bring simple little pleasures, following one another softly, like pearls slipping off a string.  "                 — L. M. Montgomery

Lastly, Happy CNY 2011 everyone!
May the coming rabbit year be another year of unlimited wealth and better health for you & your love ones! xoxo
*還在欠錢的人，記得不要欠過年哦！我還清了我的債，不知道有多開心!*

"A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one."  — Mae West / (Source: kari-shma, via quote-book)

** note to self **

11.1.11

Was a happy day cos it's e first time we actually shopped w an intention to purchase!
At least I don't recall us having serious purchase like just!

Also loving all our talks!

Have you done something worthy today?


**** sent via pinko touch ****

Disgusted not by the fact but by what you have choosen to believe instead.
Disgusted not by what you want to believe but how you have choosen to put your words across.
Disgusted by how you nv fails to rant up the past whenever you start your nonsensical screams.
Even more disgusted of myself for not learning my lessons and nv stop asking you for any help.

if this is what you want, you'll get it.
i'm sure i can get it over and done with.
for you dont see my effort, and i shant explain myself.

isnt it also a false front wanting to pick me when i always make my way home on my own whenever i return?
i seriously dont need it but was i given a choice?
to think i believe it was from the heart.

|| BELIEVE ||
|| BE ||LIE|| VE ||