Chapter 75: for the next paycheque

isnt she beautiful?

i cant wait to lay my hands on it.

tsk.

should i or should i not?

i cant really decide.

arghhh....

Chapter 74

extremely exhausted.
to be exact, exhuasted from work.

the weekend was a nightmare.
i merely survived through it cos i was busy watching jerry.yan.

come Monday, unknowingly, i have my first breakdown from work.
mentally tired. tired is an understatement.
i no longer understand why i'm working so hard for.

issit for myself? my passion for the job?
issit for the participants/delegates? to make them njoy having lessons?
issit for the coy? the reputation, the internationalism, the fun, the vibe.
what?!

this july will be my completion of 4 yrs here.
how long do i intend to be there?
for the next 5 yrs? or 10 yrs?

over the years, i believe i improve in what i'm doing for the coy and not the other way.
i seriously, honestly put in every effort to guide and try to make the system better.
now, it doesnt seems that important anymore.

how many times have we heard ppl complaining that their bosses claim credits, etc. etc.
i'm not saying mine does, but my managerSSSS does have their own way of handling things.
i guess i have reach my brim without me realising.

i cant really put into words what exactly happened.
i have yet to recover.
i feel sad going to work now.
i dont even want to listen to any of her suggestions cos i already have in mind how i'm working towards tightening the process.
it hurts having to listen now.

2 days passed.
i noted that i went to work today purely because of my commitment towards my participants.
2 graduation in Apr.
i rush and push myself for everything on my own.
what do i get in the end?

it's even more upsetting that i'm only seeking comfort in myself.
whatever happen to me?
i dont even feel like speaking becos i know no one will understand the sadness i feel.

it is a bad experience.
i am bad at controlling my tears.

can someone wake me up and tell me that i dont use to cry when i was young?
like no matter how my parents scold or scream at me, i dont cry?
why am i crying so much now?
for every single thing that i find upsetting?

the only time i felt happy today is during lunch time, where i seek peace sitting by the bench...
njoying the quietness ard.

badly affected.
it's time to move on.

Perfect weekend.

My best way to spend a non-working day is to sleep till ur fullest, wake up, do e necessary then drama all e way!

It's such a simple way to get a perfect weekend spent!

Pure bliss can!


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Chapter 72 - Speechless

after what happened last night, it is obvious i cant get over it.
how can something so small be a hinder in our lives?

this will carry on.
carry on foreva so long we want to be together.

i find it amusing how one thing can lead to the other.
how feelings can be twisted just so to make a person' stand.

whats the big deal?
i really see no issue.
i believe everyone knows what they are doing and why they make or do certain decision.

if you cant accept mine, dont expect me to accept yours.
why has it always been so difficult to understand simple logic and principle like this?

i have nv been so pissed in my life before.
i have changed.
i think i changed.
for the better or worse?
i only know it's to protect myself cos if i dont, no one else will.

i am perfectly fine with myself now.
and i need no preaching from anyone.

GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

In e last stretch of 2010' quarter

It's an early sun night.
I could use the time now to continue on my assignment. Yet I choose not to.

I'm such a difficult person that even I have a hard time getting alone w meself.

Like I know I need to finish it asap cos I am not one who will drag it to e next weekend. Yet given e time I have now, I really not do anything.

I am done w surfing, done w tviewwws. All I want is to lie down, think abt random tots and eventually fall asleep. How lazy! Tsk.

Certain issues in e afternoon came over to my mind. I often jump to conclusion but I do trust and believe what my intution tells me.

Nvm abt why u are back to fb. Nvm abt why all of a sudden it is to bkk.
I am already disappointed to begin with. So what if things are not what I think? It's too hard to change my perceptions.

I guess these explained my heavy heart and is what pushes me to complete 1/3 of my report. This time, I would hope to get more than 51 marks. Cos I seriously think I do a better job. Hah!

On a lighter note, I wish I didn't crack my casing. If not I can use this time to bling my bb.

Beauty sleep in xchange for everything else.

I'm so hard to please nowadays.
WHY?!?!?!


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If I can turn back time

I would only ask to be back to bkk during dec 2007 where I have e most out of my 5days of my life.

Such simple days with e right people doing just e right thing.

What's urs if given a choice?



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Investment vs Time

What is a good investment?
What constitutes an investment?
What about time wastage?
Investing vs time.

Being a biz student, I seem to have a different interpretation.

Are you investing in e right thing you feel is an investment?
Are you getting returns at a rate is to ur satisfaction?
How do u handle a fail investment?

There's so many issues that can be associated with this topic.

Think abt it when u are free.
Think abt ur investment and see if it yield a return of ur expectation.

All e best everyone!

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Can't believe I am liking group project only at my last sem of studies.
It's fun to work with people ur level.
Like seriously!
E debating, e argueing.
E triggle, e you-get-to-learn more from them thingy?
I must have really bad project mates in e past!
Erm.. Maybe for only a few mod!
Anyway, I just finished my group discussion.
By e norm, I will usually be too tired and will not hesistate to cab home.

But tonight, diligent HY is taking public back cos she wants to be alone longer! Smuff!

Project aside, e bf is going out whenever I am not available. No questioning, no asking.
For me, it's e opposite.
I feel so unfair.

What's e BIG deal meeting project mates?

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Chapter 66

Long Sunday.
Went present shopping for @jacklyn.huang before meeting the rest of G10 to post-celebrate her birthday.
Awwwww! i love the necklace we got her.

It's a simple dinner cum gathering for us.
Yes, we no longer spend weekends like this having dinner anymore.
Everyone's busy with their own stuff.
Still, I'm glad that we can come together to celebrate each other' birthday.

The usual card playing.
The usual beach gossips.

Ms Jacklyn Huang!!!
Happy Birthday once again!
May you stay pretty as always, enjoy all ur vball sessions,
and most importantly.. be NICER to yourself!
Have a much much happier life whenever you can alright!

on a sidenote, i really feel that the bf & i change abit.
the quarrel last night was a 'mature' one.
glad that no hard feelings were carried forward.
no damage done. *smiles*
gonna be a tough 2 months for me.
things will definitely improve after i complete my studies!
JY!

Chapter 65

Random Facts about HYYET!

she cannot stand pain. in any forms.
she loves horror shows.
she adores taiwan actors who are superbly handsome.
she cannot speak soft.
she never place her utensils on trays use to carry food.
she drinks green tea on most day.
she only eats fishball noodles in dry ketchup 粿条.
she doesnt take beef except for yoshinoya beef bowl.
she wears big face watch.
she loves wedges more than heels.
she is a sadist who inflicts pain on others.
she is lazy when it comes to removal of make up.
she showers before she leave house.
she blog-surfs alot. and
she has her own principles.

Chapter 64

I'm still missing and thinking abt e gift I tot I ought to receive even up to today.
Demanding of me? No, I don't think so.

What more can I say now that it's over?

I'm definitely disappointed and I guess I'm going to stop asking for it.
Let this be buried after this post.

Hates it when things get complicated.
No expectations, alright!?

I'm also not going to plan for any trips.
I don't think I will be happy.
Bye bkk.

I should be thinking abt my stuff! :)
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Chapter 6x - Anything on ur plan?

Mar and Apr out for work on army graduation.
May for exams and after 22nd for bkk.
Jun for mid year break.
Jul for work and a short getaway if possible.
Aug for work.
Sep for my convo and china official trip.
Oct for master graduation.
Nov for work closure.
Dec for clearing of leaves.

Moving into e last month of e first quarter..I can sense e fast pace for 2010. Can you?


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Chapter 62 - NIE Staff Lunch 2010

the photos are really nice, dont you think so?
and... am so glad @angelyet still have her outram tie.
seriously, if not cos i need to be back for lesson that morning,
i would have dress as a guide.
no one dress in any cca outfits.
most came cascual.
a handful in their full school uniform.
but those are you know.. from schools like RI, RGS, CHIJ, and international schools for our ang mos teacher.
another table came from Harry's school.. and another with their own class tees.
seriously, the coy doesnt have fun ppl.

If you are observant, for us, we are in our ties.
there's hwa chong institute, yishun JC, springfield sec and outram sec.
hoho.. i feel quite proud to be an outramian.
i think cos of the long school history.
you heard profs going 'oh.. u from outram sec?'
tsk.. of cos!

k la.. more pics when i get it from my colleagues.
really alot of nice shots!
till then....